'Happiness is Being...'

With three kids aged 2, 5, and 8 I rarely get much time to myself. This week though, my husband's parents kindly hosted my littlest one for a few days of grandparent time. This meant that for the first time in quite a few years I had a few hours to myself during the day when the baby's older brothers were at school.

Don't get me wrong; I adore my kids and love their company. But, it has been utterly amazing to be able to attend yoga classes as a student, and not once but twice in the last three days! On top of that, Reno's weather has been at its glorious, sunny and sparkling autumn best the past few days. I fairly floated out of class on Monday morning (my first time as a student in I don't know how long), blissed-out on the practice and the weather, the prospect of spending the afternoon harvesting our garden's abundance and the pure deliciousness of my experiences. I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be great to feel this happy all the time?"

And then that thought made me pause. It would be great to be so happy and content all the time, but the implication was that the happiness was triggered by my experiences. This made me wonder whether I could be plummeted into the depths of despair by circumstances just as easily as I was buoyed to the heights of joy, and I realized that without mindful attention that can easily happen. I was also reminded that one of the great gifts of Yoga practice is that we are able to dispel the illusion that our happiness and contentment is dependent on external sources (what's happening in our lives, what other people think, what we have or don't have).

I began to think about the concept of 'equanimity'. I t seems that this term is sometimes interpreted as ambivalence or even stoicism, but in my mind it's more than that; its an ability to embrace all experiences from a clear perception of our true (blissful) nature. The following quotation from Nischala Joy Devi's wonderful translation of the Yoga Sutras ('The Secret Power of Yoga') sums things up very well:

sutra 1.33: To preserve openness of heart and calmness of mind, nurture these attitudes: kindness to those who are happy, compassion for those who are less fortunate, honor for those who embody noble qualities, and equanimity to those whose actions oppose your values.

When we consciously cultivate balance and connect with our true nature, the circumstances don't cause us to bob up and down on a wave of emotions. Sutras 1.34-1.39 give some ways to cultivate unconditional peace and happiness. We can focus on an easeful exhalation, focus on an object we find inspiring, or cultivate devotion. We can focus on the divine qualities of a great soul, or remember a peaceful feeling from a previous experience and cultivate that. You can (again these are Nischala Joy Devi's words) 'dedicate yourself to anything that elevates and embraces your heart'

So many of us equate happiness to what we are, where we are, what we have. Think of all the license plate holders that bear slogans like 'happiness is... being a grandmother'. 'happiness is... being Norwegian'. 'Happiness is... being in Hawaii'. All conditional. I have seen one of these plate holders that I did agree with, and when I pulled up behind this car at a red light a few months ago I almost laughed out loud with delight.

The plate holder simply said, " Happiness is... Being'.

I'll remember that.