If the shoe fits...

Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks) where the world is conspiring against you, and everyone around you is doing their best to annoy, irritate or hurt you? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you probably have, and probably more than once. I've had a few days in a row like that, and it seems to have culminated in general crankiness, distractedness and lack of focus today. It's gotten to the point that I have a batch of freshly mixed and coned henna, and I can't even get excited about doing mehndi on myself. Now that's bad.

I've been struggling with a couple of things recently. Without going into too much detail, gossip has been the bane of my existence and happiness for the past week. I've had uncomfortable and disquieting information given to me by several friends regarding several different situations, and I am unsure what to do with this information. I also discovered (again, in the insidious form of gossip) that a case of mistaken identity may have affected my good reputation in some circles. I know it's not often constructive to listen to gossip, or I thought I did. However I couldn't help but be affected by what I'd heard. With the mental and emotional turmoil of the week's informational indiscretions in full force, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

So, it appeared, did many other people around me. My dear daughter has been contrary all day, and has by now (it's 2:13 PM) thrown at least two tantrums and refused to eat lunch or take a nap. Trying to get my kids into the car this morning was like herding cats. We barely made it to the car in time, then hit a traffic jam caused by construction on the road to their school. As I was on my way to teach my morning Asana class I was astounded by how poorly people were driving. A sample of my thoughts (edited to remove the more colorful language): 'Look at that guy, he's all over the lane and going 55 miles per hour. He must be on his phone. Yes, he is. Hang up and drive, Idiot!' 'Can't you use a signal light, Lady? Oh, NOW you turn it on, now that you've cut me off and are parked in the left turn lane where it's obvious to everyone around you what your intention is. THANKS.' I finally ran the traffic gauntlet and arrived to teach my class at the fitness club, only to find that the room was 63 degrees F with the air conditioner still blowing icy drafts, the floor was dirty and the dust mop had been removed for cleaning, and there were four spin bikes placed in areas that blocked me from accessing the yoga props I would need for my class. Seriously.

Thankfully, from the time that my dear daughter had her first tantrum upon waking this morning until the time that I had dragged the last spin bike into its proper parking spot so we could reach our yoga blocks, only one part of my mind was occupied with being annoyed at the world. Another part was watching myself with both amusement and compassion, and remembering a story I heard a few days ago.

My husband found an online broadcast of a lecture given by Pema Chodron: Buddhist nun, writer, lecturer and wise, gentle spirit. In this video clip she talked about having 'one of those days'. Wouldn't your life be much better, she said, if the person behind you on the plane wasn't wearing such strong perfume, and if the one on your left would lose 30 pounds, and the one on your right would stop snoring? Then you could be happy, if all those people would just be the way they SHOULD be. She grinned. Then she told us to imagine walking across a stony desert in bare feet. The soil is hot from the sun, and the stones are sharp, and it's understandably very uncomfortable to walk! So, here's the solution: cover the desert with strips of leather, from one side to the other. You could walk across it in perfect comfort! That makes perfect sense, right? Or... you could wrap your feet in the leather (i.e. wear shoes). With her joyful smile, she explained that wishing the world around you to change is as absurd as trying to cover the desert with leather. The way to approach it is to work on your own mind.

"It isn't the things that happen to us in our lives that cause us to suffer, it's how we relate to the things that happen to us that causes us to suffer." Pema Chodron

Sounds like I need a new pair of walking shoes.